Sometimes, I think it's easy to forget why we do what we do. What is the point of it all?
If you don't know me, I'll let you know what I spend most of my time doing: ministry. Most days, you can find me at my church. Usually at odd hours. Sometimes, I'm the only one there- not that they give me a key. I just happen to know how to get the spare one. It's strange; I know. Why would a senior in high school be spending all of her extra time at church? Aren't there other, more exciting things that I could be doing? Maybe, but somehow, I've become obsessed. I can't seem to get over ministry.
Some may think that it's because I've grown up in church, because it's true. I have grown up in church. If anyone else reading this has grown up in church, you'll understand that that is not the reason you stick around. I don't want to burst any bubbles, but when you grow up in church, you see it for what it really is- a community of messed up people who are committed to life change. It's beautiful, really, and I love it, but it's real and raw. We're all imperfect, and when you bring all that imperfect into something so messy like life change, things can get a little crazy. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make here is that if you grow up in church, you see it from all angles- the good and the bad. Just because I've grown up there doesn't mean that that is why I stick around.
I began serving at a young age. It started in the Kid's ministry. I worked with little kids when I was in sixth grade, and I was excited to do it. Eventually, I began serving on a youth worship team. Then, I moved to the video team, which was really exciting for me because I got to be a part of the Sunday morning experience. Then came the big jump. When I was 14, I began leading worship on Sundays with the adult worship team, which was really very intimidating. I was a freshman leading adults in worship. During that time, I had the opportunity to serve in other areas as well including media, cleaning (side note: church bathrooms are gross), and on mission trips.
I was never pushed into doing these things. God placed the opportunities in front of me, and also blessed me with the wisdom to not only choose to do them, but to do them with a grateful heart and a spirit of excellence. Over the years, I've seen how God can use the little and the big things that we do. No task is too small and nothing is too hard; God blesses everything.
When we go to summer camp, they always do two things: have people give their hearts to Christ and have people "surrender to the ministry." That simply means that you make a public statement that God has called you into some facet of ministry (senior pastor, youth pastor, missionary, worship leader, etc.). At times, I thought that I might be called into the ministry, but after being so close to it all the time, and seeing how brutal it could be, I wasn't completely sure if I should take that leap. Because giving in would cost everything. We're all meant for ministry, but being a church leader is another level of hard. I understood that. God continued to mold my heart. I remember one year at camp when many of the kids that I have grown up with stood up to surrender to the ministry. I could only think two things- 1.) Either they didn't know what they were really saying, or 2.) they were in for a whole lot of hurt. I spent a lot of time praying for them.
I continued to serve, and God continued to mold my heart. The next year, I took the stand and the plunge. In that order. This is how it happened.
Speaker: "I only want you to do this if you really mean it; if you feel God's call on your life to serve in the ministry, I want you to stand."
God: "That would be you, Mak."
Me: "Are you sure about this?"
God: "Yes. I'm always sure. I'm God. This is part of my plan."
Me: "All-right, if you say so."
I stood up.
Speaker: "Okay. If you have made that decision, I want you to make your way to the back of the room."
I was standing in the middle of a completely filled row. Worship had started, and everyone was now blocking my path. I had the brilliant idea to walk across the chairs to get out of my row. Mostly because I thought it would be less awkward than pushing past a bunch of people. Boy was I wrong. I got to the very end of the row- the very last chair, and I fell. I fell off of the chair, and everyone saw. I ended up busting my toe so bad that I cracked the top of my toenail off, and it bled all over my flip flops.
Me: "So, this is how it starts?"
All I can say is that I will never forget the day that I surrendered my life to serving the Lord.
Over the past year, God has placed an immense passion in my heart for the Church. By the Church, I don't just mean a church (a building). I do mean a body of believers. I want to be a part of their spiritual growth, and I want to bring more people in. I want to see lives changed.
I want to do this, because other people have done this for me. I'm just as messed up as anyone else, but people have poured into my life. They've shown me what God's love looks like. They've taught me about compassion and grace and mercy, and how it can change peoples lives. There's nothing like being a part of that.
Why do we do what we do? It's life change. It's seeing God shape people right before your eyes. It's the hope that Christ gives. It's seeing families restored. It's seeing addictions overcome. It's seeing anxious hearts calmed. It's seeing resentful hearts find forgiveness. It's being a part of God's kingdom here on Earth. It's unconditional love.
"The whole point of what we're urging is simply - love uncontaminated by self-interest and counterfeit faith, a life open to God." 1 Timothy 1:5, The Message
What is your passion? Why do you do what you do? Feel free to share in the comments!
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